15 Nov Dealing with Pain and Blockages
The past few weeks have been extremely difficult because my mom passed away. In my heart, I know she is at peace and no longer suffering. However, it has been extremely painful for me.
Unfortunately, I am not the best at dealing with my feelings. My typical MO is to brush away my feelings and find things to distract me, so that I forget about them (or just brush them under the carpet – to reappear at some other un-opportune time!) I am overwhelmed because I feel like I should just push on and ‘get over it’, but it’s not happening. I successfully managed to do that last week and this week, I find myself crying at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason. It’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I reached out to my colleagues and friends for support and I wanted to share what I have learned. I believe this advice can help us in many different situations – when we are grieving, when we are stuck or just having trouble dealing with a particular situation.
1) You are where you are for a reason – so accept where you are and if you are unsatisfied with it, then determine the steps to address it. For example, I have ordered two books – “The Grief Recovery Handbook” and “When Children Grieve” and have spoken to a grief counselor.
2) Your family & friends are here to support you, so reach out to them. Even if it’s just for a shoulder to cry on or to bounce ideas off of or to get a fresh perspective – people love to help and feel needed. Don’t go at it alone. People truly want to help you – so let them!
3) Address your feelings now, while they are fresh, rather than brushing them under the carpet and harboring resentment which can lead to more serious issues in the future.
4) Keep a journal and write down 3-5 things you are grateful for each day. This helps to remind you how many blessings you have and helps to change your daily perspective.
5) Be gentle with yourself. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you ‘need’ comfort food, eat a some of it, rather than the whole chocolate bar. Don’t beat yourself up, rather treat yourself with compassion and focus on the positives.
6) Take time – on your time table – not on anyone else’s. You will get through your struggles if you persevere and surround yourself with a loving and supportive community. Studies have shown some of the healthiest and happiest people are those who are part of a strong community.
I hope the tips I mention above can help you in some aspect of your own life. Enjoy your families and friends now and be thankful for all of your blessings!
As I mentioned above, during periods of grief, we need to be gentle with ourselves — and that applies to eating too. Sometimes you want and need to have the extra chocolate or comfort food — because you are feeding a deep, primary, core need. Of course it can be frustrating when you’re trying to lose weight or address a chronic issue. But listening to your body and giving it what it needs is important. I know that I will rebalance — my food and my emotions — on my timeline. And in the meantime, I enjoy my cleaner versions of comfort food – like this month’s feature recipe.
Since it’s autumn, I am sticking with my pumpkin theme – and adding in my favorite comfort food that reminds me of my mom. This recipe is for gluten free pumpkin bread which is absolutely delicious. I usually double the recipe as the first loaf is gone in 1-2 days. Click here for the recipe.
I am in the middle of a 5 part lecture series at the NJ Center for Healthy Living in Montclair. Our next session, on Thursday, November 20th at 12:30 is on Label Readingand Monday, Dec 1st at 8pm is Healthy on the Go.
Our next Lunch and Learn in Summit is Thursday, December 11th, at 12:30 and is Healthy on the Go. Please email me if you would like to register for this event.
Healthy Eating Challenge & 5 Day Detox
Due to popular demand, the next Healthy Eating Challenge begins on Thursday, January 8th. Just in time to focus on your new year’s resolutions! Click here for more details.
I am launching a new 5 Day Clean Eating Program in January. If you are ready to make some dietary changes, but aren’t ready to commit to the full Healthy Eating Challenge, this is for you!
Peace, blessings for a Happy Thanksgiving!